The thoughts, creations, and bizarre adventures of an Actor/Composer/Playwright/Activist

“RENT” Introduces Cy O’Neal (And So Do I)

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Hi folks! Those of you who watched RENT on Fox last night may have noticed an interesting change: that the leader of the Life Support group was changed from a man named Paul to a woman named Cy.

I was absolutely delighted by this, because Cy is, in fact, the real inspiration for the character Paul. Cy is Cy O’Neal, who founded the support group “Friends In Deed,” which Jonathan Larson attended and used as the basis for the support group in RENT.

I’m telling you this because it’s an opportunity to tell you a little about Cy, who is without question the most inspiring person I have ever met. I was lucky enough to be welcomed into the Friends In Deed community at the end of my Freshman year of college, and without Cy – whom I used call my “surrogate grandmother” back when I would routinely run to her office between classes at NYU – I’m honestly not sure I would have made it through at all. I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am today, or have any meaningful tools to cope with my own physical condition. And for those of you who have attended the support groups I lead: if you have gained any wisdom from me whatsoever, chances are pretty good that it can be traced directly back to Cy.

Cy O’Neal and Michael Bihovsky at Friends In Deed, September 2015

Cy would respond to what I just wrote by telling you that any wisdom she’s accrued is borrowed from mystics and philosophers and healers throughout the world and throughout history. But the messenger matters. And I can think of no greater messenger than Cy, who has the uncanny ability to guide people to laughter through the most sorrowful of tears, to treat everyone with kindness and dignity and without judgment, and to provide tools and love and support without ever telling anyone what they “should” do. I am so grateful for to Cy for teaching me how to live gracefully with illness – I don’t always live up to it, but when I do, it’s because of her.

If you’re interested in learning more about how this amazing woman came to found a support group for people with HIV (the group eventually expanded to include other conditions and life circumstances as well) to talk about their fears and falls and triumphs when almost no one was talking about the epidemic at all, you should check out her memoir, “Talk Softly.”

Advocacy, Entertainment, Recent Leave a Comment

YOU. HAVE. TO. VOTE (Democrat)

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All right friends, let me be blunt:
 
If you take issue with what’s been happening in this country over the past two years – from putting children in cages to breaking treaties to ignoring global warming to lifting pollution regulations to open demagoguery and hate speech to huge tax cuts for the wealthy to degrading our most sacred institutions to trying to kick tens of millions of people off healthcare to putting a hyperpartisan probable sexual assaulter on the supreme court (and the oval office) to mocking women who were sexually assaulted to lauding some KKK members and neo-Nazis as “good people” and on and on and on and ON – you have to vote.
 
YOU. HAVE. TO. VOTE. DEMOCRAT!
 
If you do not vote, you have lost the right to complain about the moral and practical atrocity that we are dealing with, because – quite simply – you are partially to blame. And if you throw a vote to some 3rd party candidate whom you know has exactly zero chance of winning, you are partially to blame, too. You don’t like voting for the “lesser of two evils”? That’s what morality IS. Rarely in life are moral choices a contrast between good and evil (although frankly this is about as close as it comes), and moral people choose what will make the most practical difference for the best possible outcome.
 
The best possible output in this election is incredibly clear: to put gigantic obstacles in the path of liars and bigots and thieves, and to send a loud and clear message to the Liar/Bigot/Thief in Chief that we are better than this. Better than HIM.
 
Be better. Show up to vote, bring as many friends as you can with you, and vote Democrat. Share this post, if you think it will influence even one person. Stop the bleeding. Plug the leak to prevent the ship from sinking. Then, in two years, we will finally be positioned to change course.
Advocacy, Healthcare, Politics, Science Leave a Comment

I Think The Anonymous “Senior Official in the Trump Administration” Is A Plant. Don’t Fall For It.

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I strongly believe The New York Times piece written by an anonymous “senior official in the Trump administration” was a plant/stunt by the administration for its own gain. Hear me out.

An enormous part of my many jobs is to figure out why people do the things they do. But I can’t think of a single reason why a senior official would feel the need to tell the liberal American public (he wrote this piece for the Times op-ed section, not Breitbart) that the president already has checks and balances within his own administration, except that if enough people feel these actions are sufficient, they might not show up on Election Day to vote for *real* checks and balances.

Give me another theory – I’d genuinely like to hear it. And if this article had been written at the start of Trump’s term, I would be more inclined to believe it. But considering that this article was written just weeks before the midterms, and the audience it was addressed to, and the fact that there is no actionable information to be gained from it (in fact quite the opposite – if these officials really are stifling Trump’s worst impulses, they’ve just broadcast their methods to him which will put him and his more loyal cronies on high alert for such tactics), I think it’s highly likely that this op-ed is intended to induce a false sense of security and suppress voter turnout.

Will it work? Well, it won’t stop people who are truly dedicated to the Resistance. But for people who are on the fence looking for any excuse (conscious or unconscious) to not bother going to the polls? It could sure work on them. And as we learned from the last election, if you can just get even a few thousand people to stay home, it can make all the difference in the world.

Please don’t let that happen. Make sure you VOTE, and get every like-minded person you know – patriots who wish to see this administration held accountable for its repulsive actions and probable crimes by means that were established in our constitution – and make them promise to vote as well. We cannot yet heal the wound – but at the very least, we can stop some of the bleeding.

Politics Leave a Comment

Rest In Peace, John McCain. And Thank You.

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If the past is any indication, some of my fellow liberals will take issue with the nice things I’m about to say about Senator John McCain, but today we lost a hero in an age where heroes are so very hard to find…especially, let’s be frank, on the Right.

But John McCain was a hero. For starters, he risked his life time and again to defend our country, and was tortured beyond most of our comprehension for doing so. I honor him for that.

In an age of nearly unanimous hate and vitriol, McCain called for civility and respect in our discourse. I honor him for that as well.

And for most of his career, McCain acted – and voted – like a true moderate. Moderation has become a toxic word on both sides of the aisle, but not to me. Life, and government, is often about compromise – and although McCain recently voted with Trump on a lot more issues than I’d care for, he never did so out of cowardice or to fall into his party line. He voted what was, to him, his conscience – and even if I disagree with the specifics, I respect the integrity.

Which leads me to the main issue I will remember and praise John McCain for: he – along with Senators Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski – defeated the repeal of the the Affordable Care Act, which has literally saved the lives of so many people I know and love. Why? Because his fellow Republicans had provided no alternative, and because it had been pushed through without any Democratic consultation (let alone support). Therefore, according to McCain, supporting the repeal would be utter negligence and hypocrisy, and since it would lead to tens of millions of people losing health insurance, he voted no. If he had voted yes, a lot of people who are alive right now would not be.

I think that I, even more than most Republicans, long to see a day when the Republican Party is restored to some semblance of honor, conscience, and integrity. To me, John McCain represented those admirable traits. Was he perfect? Far from it. But I will take an imperfect official doing his best over someone who is perfectly corrupt and self-interested any day.

Thank you for your service, Senator McCain, and for your example. Rest in peace.

Healthcare, Politics Leave a Comment

Dear Fellow Liberals: Knock it Off. You’re Embarrassing Us.

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I am seeing such disgusting and vitriolic rhetoric from dozens of people whom I consider to be my political allies that I am compelled to say something.

In the fight against the Trump administration and everything it stands for, there are factors which, if lost, will render us liberals just as guilty and unworthy as the other side. Those factors are Truth and Decency.

If you write some ridiculous claim or post some ludicrous “article” without thinking it through and properly fact-checking, congratulations: now you know what it’s like to be a Breitbarter. (Seriously: I’ve spent a LOT of time on that website, and what some of you are saying and doing is no different in terms of ignorance and falsehood.)

And if you banish an entire group of people to a decree of sub-humanity without recognizing that there is nuance and individuality in every single person, then maybe you should think more carefully about your daily use of Nazi comparisons (which are merited sometimes, but not always), and reflect on how you yourself are turning into everything you hate.

Even if acting this way were to help us win elections (it won’t), we will have done so at the cost of our moral integrity and the actual values we claim to be fighting for. And then what are we?

And on a more practical note: these kind of despicable tactics WON’T help us win. This may surprise you, but people’s minds are not generally changed by shutting them up or kicking them out of restaurants. It will only convince them – perhaps rightfully so – that your ideas exist only to victimize and shame. Change is made by engaging with people as human beings, recognizing our commonality, and then making a logical argument to support what you stand for rather than releasing a tirade of vitriol to banish what you’re against, and becoming it in the process.

So everyone, please: calm the fuck down. You’re making us look bad, and you’re hurting the cause. Be kind, be responsible, and then get to work.

Politics Leave a Comment

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